Really old man: (points at my face) you’re gay!
Me: excuse me?
Really old man: you’re gay. And it’s too bad because I’ve got a big penis.
Me: oh well. Good thing those gross me out.
Next thing my friend and I dance for about 15 minutes when all of the sudden….
Old man #2: I just really have to tell you something.
Me: (thinking: can we please leave now?) what?
Old man #2: you are the hottest girl on the… on the… on this side if the room.
Me: … Umm.. Thanks?
I love how all the pieces just fall into place.